Directed by Cutter Hodierne, home invasion picture Cold Wallet stars Raul Castillo, Melonie Diaz, and Tony Cavalero as the ‘little guys' screwed over by a crypto CEO scammer, played by Josh Brener. This Soderbergh-attached film had plenty of chances for biting cultural commentary but ultimately failed to take it into the realm of interesting.
When his crypto stock suddenly tanks, Billy (Raul Castillo) is left severely in debt. Even worse, days earlier he encouraged his friend Dom (Tony Cavalero) to invest in the currency too. Trawling Reddit forums for help, they meet the straight-talking Eva (Melonie Diaz), owner of the biggest vape known to man. With her hacking skills and Dom's weapon of a body, Billy believes that there's still a chance to get justice. They plot to take the owner of Tulip hostage and force him to hand over the stolen money. Fancying themselves modern-day Robin Hoods, they arrive at Charles Hegel's (Josh Brener) mansion ready to take revenge.
Cold Wallet's script is particularly weak, with the dialogue often unnatural and at times completely bizarre. Cavalero's zen-heavy character has some standout lines, including his reaction to murder, as he's primarily concerned about their “karmic imprint”. There's a lot of cyber jargon, going further than the usual ‘hacking the mainframe' statements usually found in heist films, but in Cold Wallet, understanding this convoluted speech is necessary to appreciate the stakes. Aside from the explanation of cold wallets — devices for storing cryptocurrency offline — little else is suitably described for a general audience's comprehension which means the twists do not have as big an impact.
There are elements in Cold Wallet that feel too goofy not to be satire. The overly enthusiastic saleswoman with space buns who informs the trio as they shop for guns, and Dom's worry that “This doesn't line up with us, spiritually.” These aspects are quite comedic if they're interpreted ironically, but it's not clear whether this is the film's intention or whether they're relying too heavily on tropes.
While the tone is uncertain, so is the point the film is trying to make. Billy's ex-wife scoffs at his obsession with “make-believe money” so he screams: “I think outside the box, and you shame me for that!” Like an NFT monkey, this angle of cryptocurrency as “peak capitalism” seems dated, especially as the current focus is on AI evils.
The protagonists are too pathetic to root for and there's no character development throughout the 84-minute runtime. Brener's crossbow-wielding ‘crypto whale' possesses a surprising amount of emotional intelligence, manipulating his captors by tailoring his psychological attacks to their insecurities. But his role as a finance shark comes across as a flat and uninteresting performance instead.
Just like Hegel's lair, with its confusing mixture of old money taxidermy stags and gamer bro light-up keyboards, Cold Wallet doesn't fully commit to either genre or tone.
Cold Wallet had its European premiere at FrightFest 2024 on Monday, August 26.