Hollywood is overflowing with horror movies these days. Whether it be multiple sequels for a franchise or a remake of a cult classic, it’s safe to say we are inundated with films in this genre. When we have watched close to everything Hollywood has to offer, it’s hard to find something that quenches our thirst for originality. Enter B-movie Jakob’s Wife, a low budget horror movie that follows Anne (Barbara Crampton), a middle aged woman, married to a minister in a small town in America. Fed up with her mundane day to day life, Anne takes a risk and meets up with a school sweetheart. As things start to get steamy, Anne is then attacked by The Master, a creepy, vampire-looking creature which then turns Anne’s mundane daily life upside down and causes chaos in her small town.

After watching the film, we had to do a little digging to find out what genre the film identifies as. The only genre it seems to be under is horror. We really hoped we would see it identified as a comedy, also. We are still scratching our heads whether we’ve watched a brilliantly balanced comedy/horror or whether the whole crew for Jakob’s Wife have completely missed the mark. If Jakob’s Wife only identifies as a horror, then it has to be one of the most dull horror movies we have come across for a long time.

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As mentioned towards the start of our review, the horror genre is churning out hundreds and hundreds of titles every single year. Originality is what keeps the genre fresh and hungry for the audience. No one wants to see something that is predictable and has been done before. A reinvention is okay if it’s done in a clever manner. Jakob’s Wife fails to reinvent the wheel and its only attempt at horror is to have necks-bursting-with-blood -scenes that fail to hit the mark. The mediocre acting, alongside its unsure identity as a story has the film dragging its heels towards its cringeworthy ending.

There isn’t really a lot more else to say. We were fidgeting, biting our nails and begging for the film to reach our conclusion. It’s a shame the film had to be this way, especially with horror icon Barbara Crampton in the lead role. Even her experience within the genre and industry cannot save this film from being forgotten very quickly.

Jakob’s Wife streams exclusively on Shudder August 19.

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